12:20pm

Note :  I wrote this while visiting my son (at the cemetery).

Thank you, mom, for visiting me.  Today I chose this place for our conversation so you would not think that you have forgotten about me.  I also wanted to be a little closer to you. 

Mom, I love you very much, and I know how incredibly difficult it is for you that I am physically away.  I feel the same way. I do miss you tremendously and I love you very very much.

Now, a little more about your journey—your path: Trust no one, only yourself.

Before every action, check with yourself first, and then do what needs to be done only when it feels right to you.  I will be with you all the time.

Talk to me, ask me. I really want you to include me in your decisions.  Just be you mom.  Do not change.  We are praying for you, your soul, and its merit. There are many who love and care for you.

In Israel, mom, just feel the earth, the air, the water, and the fire.  Feel it mom. Take it all in.

Trust yourself and no one else.

It’s getting hot right now and I need you to go.  Come back after your journey and remember that I am going with you. 

I will be next to you every second on earth. I love you tremendously. I will be watching over you. 

I am your son.  I am your family.  I am next to you mom.  I love you!

12:50 a.m.

Note: I was at home when I suddenly heard angels singing. This is my first time hearing angels sing. At first I did not know who was singing. After all, I was all alone in my room.

This was the first day without both my children next to me. I was accustomed to phone calls. My children would call me four to five times a day. Silence was ruling in my home today.

Then I saw them. I saw angels. A group of them. The vision was vague, yet I could see them. 

They were singing The Shema* to me. I was vividly hearing . . .

“Sh’ma Yisra’el Adonai Eloheinu Adonai Echad . . .”

I could not understand what was happening to me. Why are they here? Am I dying? What is happening?

I did not know exactly what they were singing. I knew that I had heard this prayer before, but I was not sure exactly what that was. (I had to go ahead and check that later on.)

As they were singing, I felt strange. Dizzy. Yet calm. Yet elevated. Confused? Shaken? Mixed emotions and feelings were covering me in and out, in and out just as a wave. Changing, moving . . .

This was the first day that my phone did not ring. Both of my children were not available to call me! To hug me!

It crushed me . . . Silence . . . crushed me . . . angels kept singing . . .

*“Hear, Israel, the Lord, is our G-d, the Lord is One.”

Deuteronomy 6:4

11:07 p.m.

Mom, G-d decided to increase the merits of your soul. You are getting additional energy so you can endure and carry on what has been given you. ( Which in deed it did. I was able to get ready and travel.)

Let the song of angels grow wings on your back. Let our prayers in heaven provide you with health and love. Raise your head straight up and keep strong. You’re loved by many and we are all praying for you. Mom, remember, remember, I am here.

 Now , I want to give you instructions for Israel. Here they are:

1. You must remember that I am with you. I will be watching you, speaking with you, guiding you. Do not hesitate to ask if you need anything.
2. This is a journey for the soul, not for the mind. Do not think. Logic will not help. Feel, listen, and become aware.
3. You must stop worrying and allow G-d to do what he must do.
4. Follow the flow of energy. Follow your bliss. There are no limits on where you want to go or what you want to do.
5. You must support your feelings or wants. Do not stop, mom, do not.

11:06 am

Okay, mom, this is it, the start of a new life. You felt this life before. You thought about this life before. Now it is here.

You raised me and sent me on my way. You raised my brother and sent him on his journey. You were always helping everyone in the family. You always did what you could and that is why now you have to feel good and light.

I understand that change is not easy, but I also know that change is necessary. I know mom that you are starting a new life, path, and work.

That is why you should not rush. Feel what is right for you and stick by it. Do not allow anyone to influence you.

Follow only your route and only your voice of truth. Follow only your soul.

You must become stronger on the inside and protect what is important to you. Focus, mom, focus. This is very important.

It is crucial that your first steps are taken in the right direction. You must go slowly. Wait till it feels right to you.

I also need you to take care of yourself and be well. We will talk soon. Take care.

–Love, your son.

2:23pm

I know that you are feeling very low today. I don’t know what else to tell you. I’ve already told you everything I could in regards to my shift.

I know that you love me, but what else can I do for you?  This is our destiny.  Regardless of how much you love me and how much I love you, destiny is destiny.

G-d gave you to me and took you away from me. At least we spent 18 years together.  Some people don’t even get that.

Plus, you can hear me and I can hear you. Consider that like our own Skype, free of charge.

In regards to my departure, you are not guilty of anything.

You gave me everything I needed. You gave me your love.

The truth is, I don’t think anyone could have reversed what happened. I had to go, it was the will of G-d.

Would I like to be next to you right now? Sure!  Would I like to be next to all my friends and family? Of course. So what?

Is it hard for you? Sure. Is it painful? Absolutely. But then what?

You have your path and you must walk it. That is what is called Life.

Who said it would be easy? You must trust that you will be able to walk.

This is it, mom.

You can cry as much as you need but then you must start to smile. Please start to enjoy your life with me, I am watching you from above.

I need you to be joyful. If you cannot do it for yourself, then do it for me.

I want you to be my mom, the mom I knew before. Bring my mom back.

I need my mommy. I want my mommy. Mommy come back, I am waiting for you in Zero Degree of Deviation.

Find me.

9:48 a.m.

Hi Mom,

I’m missing you so much. We did not talk all day. In regard to your trip to Israel, I suggest you leave all worries to the Flow and in the hands of Divine Providence.

Mom, you, by yourself, need to practice my theory (Zero Degree of Deviation). Well, not my theory, it is the universal theory, which is another version of truth, destiny, and free will. 

Interesting how free will is about the willingness to let our creator into our lives. The paradox is that free will is given to us, yet the source of giving is not allowed in our lives very often.

In other words, we accept the free will, but we do not accept the giver of free will.  

Mom, think about this paradox.

That is why asking for what is right for us instead of what we want specifically is one of the best approaches to asking for anything.

This approach is humble and receiving. “What is right for me?” has another underlying meaning.

Look, here is a formula for understanding the underlying meaning of “what is right for me?”:

1. What is right for me? where “Me” = “We” (because we are all connected and affecting each other).
2. Therefore, the answer to the question “what is right for me” becomes the answer to “what is right for you?” and for “what is right everyone else?”
3. It becomes right for the collective soul as long as that “right” is received in the right way (according to ZDD).

Here’s a practical example: You, Mom, asked the universe, G-d, and Divine Providence to provide and give you what is right for you. Yes?

And then I left. How can this be right? 

In the mind and eyes of Earth, that is the worst thing that could happen to a mother—to you. In the eyes of illusion, you are right. 

But look here, Mom, if your soul’s purpose is to bring this knowledge to humanity, then what happened to me was right for humanity, and my shift was needed in order for you to fulfill your role. Yes?

Now you’re qualified to provide this need. Therefore, when whatever is right is and given to us, then it services not only us, but everyone else as well . . . if number 1, we receive it in the right way, and number 2, we are able manage it and maintain it well.

I too, Mom, ask what is right for me. And here I am, serving G-d from above with my “right” giving to you an opportunity to do your “right” by serving G-d below. 

When I use what is right for me and when you use what is right for you in the correct manner, then we form a very strong team serving Divine Providence and getting everyone ready for a shift. 

When you fullheartedly accept what was given to you and accept that I was not taken from you, then you and I can start to work together. 

Now you need to learn how to accept what is right for you and what was given to you with all your heart and mind. Accept the will of Divine Providence. 

When you do so, then you will be able to affect others with “what is right for you” just as I am affecting you with what is right for me.

When I accepted what was right for me, it changed you forever. Not only me! It moved you and made you more real than ever.

What was right for me, Mom, was the most compassionate act made for you. That is my gift to you. It will release you from your suffering and give you an opportunity to be happy. 

Thank you for all the sufferings you tolerated in order to give my soul the opportunity to be on Earth; thank you for your love and for being the “right” mother. I always accepted what G-d gave me, and now you also have a second chance in life to be free and to be you. 

Mom, accept this opportunity. It is a gift! 

Note: How could I accept this as a gift? This is and was the most challenging concept among everything else that I was told and shown.

More likely you will struggle with it too. This is not an easy piece of pie to swallow. 

Having my son for me was one of the greatest gifts that I received. As I am sure your child to you too.

When he told me what you just read above, it made me sick to my stomach. I did not have the stomach to digest that idea. At that time? Absolutely not!

I even developed ulcer. Embracing all these and answering the question “How can this be right for me?” is a quest of the soul.

Long, long process with lots of soul learning, labor, and hard work. Daily! Therefore, living with the answer, whatever the answer may be for you . . . with any answers . . . is a courage. 

*Spiritual growth comes at a very high price! 

11:32am

My dearest, dearest mom.  I am very proud of you. 

And yes, stay under the shadow of G-d.  Stay there.

That is your protection. That is your safe place.  That is your partner.

Under the shadow of G-d we will meet again.

Under the shadow of G-d, we will build our home. Do not worry about anything.  Go and do what needs to be done.

9:36 a.m.

Note: My son was such a humble and brave young man; sometimes I looked at him and wondered what he would look like later on in life. What kind of man will he become when he grew up? Whatever he will become, I knew that I will be very proud of him.

Now, in this new reality, I did not know how to deal with being physically separated from him. My soul was screaming from pain.

So I said to my son:

I cannot keep quiet any longer. I miss you like crazy. What affects me the most is the awareness that I will never be able to hug you in the physical world. I do understand that you are here and that you have not disappeared, but the loss of the physicality of our relationship is too vivid and unbearable. 

I can no longer smell you or hug you or kiss you. I can no longer play practical jokes on you. We can no longer play!  

I do not know how to deal with all these. I understand you want me to be strong and calm, but I am not strong enough for all this. I am not cut out for this. 

You were the one who brought me joy and happiness. You were such a magical bundle of joy, and you were my life.  

My son: 

I am fully aware of your love.  Mom, we’re not done yet.  You and me are not done yet.  We still have us.  We still have us, mom. Please think that way.

Please trust that way.  Please act that way and be that way.  We are together though you cannot touch me.  I am sorry for that.  Yes, nothing can be done about that right now.  

Trust that I am here and I am fine.

We are going to Israel!  I am taking you on that trip, mom.  Go buy tickets from August 18^th to October 10^th.  Don’t worry about anything. Everything will be taken care of.  

I love you more than I can express.  I’m here with you as much as I can be.  I’m not going anywhere. 

You and I are bonded forever by love, trust, and the grace of G-d and we can sit on his palm and just wait for his blessings and love.