3:43pm

My Son’s Place

Choose life mom. Choose life. Choose life with whatever it comes and with everything in it. With pain or pleasure, with joy or sorrow–choose life, for better or worse, till death do you apart.

Be married to life. Be married to the gift that has been given to you. Embrace that gift even in times it is impossible to breathe. Choose life.

People will come and people will go. Rain will fall and sun will shine.

Your response to that will depend on if you are in it to win it. You cannot lose if you choose life. You cannot fail if you choose life.

If you choose life there’s no escape, no addiction, no games. Everything becomes straight and simple. If you live your life with a conscious thought and mature decision—a choice—no one can take that away from you.

Then all the tricks stop working. Negativity is gone. You are done with the pity and nonsense and whatever earthy illusions there are.

Choose life without knowing what is waiting for you. Choose life without expectations or demands. Step into life with just a clear choice, open heart, and faith. That is all you need.

Step into life knowing that your life is a gift to you and to humanity. Trust that your life is valuable to the one who gave it to you.

Mom, my dearest mom, this is it. This is the icing on the cake. This is the ultimate choice of all choices.

Choose life as is.  Know that life is a gift to you.

Yes too many live their life without choosing–sitting on two chairs.  Here are the chairs: Life and Death.

Death does not mean a physical separation of body and soul. Death means a separation between soul and spirit.

So choose life. Connect your Soul and Spirit. Bring it all together in trust that there is a plan for you. There is no room for Fear when Awareness is in the house.

Do not fear the unknown, my mother. Do not fear the unknown. Fear pity, inertia, apathy, the death of the soul.

Choose life my dearest mommy. Hold my hand and together we will walk farther than you ever dreamed about. 

Choose life, mom, choose life. Choose life and do not ever turn back. Live your life with zero degree of deviation and allow the plans to unfold.

Choose life. Choose life. Choose life. Is this not what you wanted for me?

Now I want this for you. I want this for us. Now choose life and face it without flinching. True and simple. Choose Life.

—Love,

Your son.

1:37 p.m.

Note: Sometimes, I was feeling as if I was stuck between the land of death and the land of living. It felt to me that I was not living, nor could I die. Why so?

To make it short: the physical reality was crushing me. The depths of suffering were too deep. The heavy rain, metaphorically speaking, did not stop. It was pouring over us, over me. Trying to keep my head above the water, I was faced with questions:

If there is no one left in your life who you love, if your life is full of physical pain and suffering, if till your last breath you knew you would be in agony, would you still then choose life and accept life as a precious gift? Would you fight for your life then? 

I struggled within to find an honest question. Not the “correct” or “right” or “for sure” answer. I knew those. No. No. No. I needed to find my own, authentic voice and my own answer. 

Mom, you must make a conscious decision to live. You must choose life.  You must choose life without any guarantees and promises.

You need to choose life for you even if there is no one else there.  Mom would you have enough courage to choose life if everything you love is taken away? Would you?

Here are your options:

• Choose life and embrace life as a precious life regardless what is in it and who is in it.
• Choosing not to kill oneself and tolerate as much as possible.
• Killing oneself.

Three different choices = three different outcomes.

6:31 p.m.

My dearest mom, be with me. Please know that you are not alone. It is evening where you are. Dad is at work and not coming home today since he has a lot of work to do. In this empty house, you, my dearest mom, are not 100% okay yet, but your heart and soul is with me. I love you, Mom, so much.

Your soul is still and quiet right now, and your tears are dried. There is peace in you.

Where did it come from? How are you able to have that? Is it because of what I said today? Is it because you are starting to value your journey and work more, or is it because your doubts and fears are gone?

Why, Mom? Talk to me.

My Response: 

My dearest son, I am in peace today because of you, your gentle love, and your tender touch. Your words rock my world and make living worthwhile. You opened my eyes to the beauty I had never seen before. You opened my heart to music I had never heard before. 

Your wisdom is my healing water. Your essence is breathing life into me. You are my bridge between G-d and me. You bring me the love I never knew.

You bring me treasures that I have never owned or saw anywhere else. Your loyalty to me diffuses all darkness. Your kindness illuminates all fears. When our souls can bounce together, what else can I feel but serenity and joy?

My son, I love you so much that my soul is tearing apart my flesh. I dream to be with you forever, and that gives me peace.

My dearest son, my darling . . . without doubts, your spirit, your essence, and your love are presented, engraved in, and imprinted in my every thought, word, and action. I breathe the divinity of your spirit. I pray for us to G-d that he allow us to always be together forever. 

The fear of losing you is gone. I am in peace because we are together. I write to you and you can read. You talk to me and I can write.

Across the time, through the many realms and worlds, two different realities collide. Because of our love, there is no separation. Now we talk with one voice. Now with one voice we write. Now with one voice we sing one song. One love, one soul—soul of SaRaH. 

I am in peace because you and I are together. I love you . . . my joy, my light, my love, my son. You are loved!

That is so beautiful, Mom. Thank you. Indeed, without any doubts you and I are now one. We will write the last chapter of your life together. I will be with you here till your last breath. I will hold your hand while you are crossing over, and I will never let you go, never.

9:47 p.m. 

It was my birthday, so my son came and brought me his birthday wishes. One of his wishes was the following:

“May your spirit be as humble and clear as a crystal. May your soul never again see the darkness of the night, and may the tears of sorrow be dried forever.”

I took the time to meditate on his wishes, and I understood the tremendous importance of what it meant to be humble and crystal clear. The more humble and/or clear we are, the better the connection with our children will be. When we are humble and clear, that is when the true love of a mother is revealed.

May all of our souls never see the darkness of the night, and may the tears of sorrow be dried from the face of this earth forever. And that is my wish for all of you!

1:38pm 

Mom, we truly need to start trusting life, its force, and its process. Remember:

1. Everything is set in motion.

2. You were pulled from a darkness before and it will happen again.

3. Trust that your life will bring you everything you need and will take away everything you don’t need.

4. Focus on Zero Degree of Deviation and trust that. Without proper focus, you will not make it far.

5. You must develop endurance for setbacks or rough patches.  They are part of the process.  Embrace them in the same way you embrace the smooth rides. The rainy days must be blessed and embraced the same way as sunny days. Nature does not have bad weather, only those who cannot weather it. Remember that?

6. Trusting life and the giver of life is the key not only to every day life but the overall process. The process is so intricate, multi-dimensional, and complex that it becomes very simple. That is the genius of the design.

10:45am 

Hi mommy, hi my dearest,

Once again, Happy 2012 New Year to you. I have to tell you something, mom. Mom, we are approaching the time when my voice is becoming more and more integrated into your voice and my thoughts and teachings becoming more and more blended with yours.

It will become more difficult to pinpoint when the words are from me or you.  Please do not fear this.  You are not losing me.

You are not forgetting me, and I am not disappearing. On the contrary, there will be more of me, except I will be better blended with your energy.

I will still be speaking with you, but it will be of a different taste. You will see.

Here are the guidelines for you:

• Everything that you need to know – you will know.

• Everything that you need to have, you will have.

• Every opportunity that belongs to you will find you.

• Everything that belongs to you – will be delivered to you.

• Whatever is not yours anymore will be thrown out.

• People, friends, etc who must be with you will be with you—the rest will fall away.

• Your plan is not the divine plan. Your plan is not what was written for you.

• Learn how to read between lines every hour of the day. Learn how to walk while blindfolded, yet see more than ever.

• Don’t fight the plan. Do not fear the plan. None of those are useful or helpful. Surrender to the plan and embrace it.

• It is your life; do not wish it away. Fight for what is right and what is yours.

• Fight for your life.

• Fight within the plan.

• Respect the boundaries of your destiny. Not everyone can be at the top of the mountain at the same time.
• Do not wish for anything different.  That will stall your process. Be thankful for where you are right now.

I love you, mom. We are together forever. I will never leave you. 

We are now One. You and I are one body, one soul, one true path!

Note: I was given a vision that showed me the Garden of Love and how to get there. It was a breathtaking vision. I can tell you it was “beautiful.” I can say it was “amazing,” and I can use other words . . . but nothing will be able to bring forward what I saw in that vision and to do justice to what I saw.

However, I can tell you this much: if we keep crossing the Desert of Death under the guidance of Divine Providence, we will be led to the Garden of Love.

Since I had the vision, I now was able to bring myself into. Since that day, the place became my place of healing. Since that day, I made a habit of drifting to that place before falling asleep. Since then, that garden became a place for my son and me.

The cold and wet caves of the Desert of Death were slowly leaving me and becoming landmarks of the journey that I once was taking. Or maybe it’s me who was leaving them. Passing them on my way. Something that once was on my path. I still had lots of respect for them; they provided me shelter and safeguarded me as well. They, those caves, were my place of birth. That is where alchemy of Becoming took its place. They will be there for you too.

Yet we have to be very aware that we cannot request a faster process or ask for the process to speed up. There is a set pace. There is a time for everything. We must respect the process.

Mom, our work will take place not in the Desert of Death but in the Garden of Love—in paradise. You shall come and visit me in this garden so we can work. The paradise is located at the other side of the broken heart and hidden door that leads to the peak of mountain, which links Heaven and Earth together.

From that garden, we will work and talk.

In that garden we will live

In that garden we will meet

In that garden we will dwell

In that garden we will prevail

Over the illusions

I want you to make this garden your home, your place, our place. That is where I want you to spend most of your time. Here is where you should go back when you are in trouble or sorrow.

This place was shown to you for a reason. This place now belongs to you too and you belong there. Learn about this place and make it your/our home. The more time you spend there, the healthier you will become.

 This is all for today. I love you, take care.

~Your son