12:24am

My dearest mom, I speak to you in the dark of night. To you I come bearing gifts of love and wisdom. My dearest mom, forgive my distance in which I now partake as a son of Heaven.

I wish so much to be with you right now in this same room where you are alone with just a notebook and a pen hoping to catch a glimpse of me, your very loved and stubborn son.

Oh how I miss you, mom. I miss your kisses, affection, scent of perfume, and the taste of food prepared by you just for me. Oh how I miss your touch when you laid your hand on my back or on my hair. Oh how I miss all that.

My dearest mom, I come to you with love, please love me back without any guilt, regrets, or self-inflicted pain. That is so unjust to you.

I beg you, forgive my weird and crazy mom for anything you still hold her responsible. I beg you to let my mom be in peace. She did her best and that is enough.

She is the best in my soul. Take this into your heart and nurture her for all that she is or is not. I love my mom beyond the borders of my body that rests in peace.

Let my mom be in peace so we can work together. Promise me you will stop eating yourself alive and drinking your blood drop by drop.

You are the best mom in my eyes; now learn to see it that way too. With that, healing will come and pain will leave.

You need to listen to this, please hear this, mom. I love you, mom. Trust that with all your soul and heart. You are the best.

Take that in and breathe that every night before you go to sleep and when you awake. You are the best mom for me; I do not wish for another.

I love you and only you with the heart of son every second of the day and every moment of the night. We are together. Know that.

I love you, mom. And now, truly love and respect my mom too.

Take care – Your son forever.

1:51 p.m.

My Son’s Place

My mommy, my dearest mommy, I love you, so please remember that you will always be my crazy and weird mom. There is nothing else more important to me than your health and smile, which I loved and still love.

Do not cry or agonize over me. The Divine Providence sees all and so do I. I will safeguard you.

Fight for your life, mom. Fight for your life means telling the truth as you know it and not letting the world take that from you.

True slavery is when we keep our souls silent. If our souls is kept silent or imprisoned by other people’s truth and political correctness, then the energy of Divine Providence cannot flow through us.

Think about this mom. Really think about it. When you speak in regards to Divine Providence, you are claiming their existence and bond.

The existence of a Divine realm drives out the secular way of life, which is completely based on the idea that we are G-d.

 Note: This part of our conversation brought me to thinking about our education and the way society wants us to think.

For example, the story of Pygmalion. In that story, Pygmalion created a statue of his ideal wife and fell in love with it. Then he asked Aphrodite to make the statue come alive. She, Goddess of Love and Beauty, pitied him and fulfilled his desire.

Based on that story, the self-fulfilling prophecy theory was developed, also known as the Pygmalion theory (Pygmalion effect) that is now widely offered in the core curriculum in universities. With the future application in the workplace. Mainly to influence workplace behavior through performance reviews.

Back in Russia, I studied Greek mythology, so when my professor related the story of Pygmalion to business, I saw a problem.

The problem was that according to the narrative of the story, Pygmalion did not make the statue turn alive; Aphrodite did. So it was Divine intervention that helped Pygmalion in the end. The desired outcome came not as a result of a human’s efforts, but as a result of Divine Will.

Yet in the theory, Divine intervention is not present or acknowledged. Making us, humans, at the top of the power hierarchy. Making us all powerful and fully responsible for the results.

So I questioned my professor, “How could this mythological story be turned into a theory if the main character is not acknowledged? How effective would be the results of the application of that theory in practice?”

Without Aphrodite, there is no story to tell. The essence of the story about the power of a prayer, human’s efforts, and Divine help and protection. It is about the ongoing relationship between heaven and earth. Between us, humans and Divine.

And if someone does not believe in Divine and its intervention—fine. But then make your own stories and legends. Use them. Apply them. So in my opinion, this theory is bogus and useless. As a matter of fact, a similar thing happened during the creation of Marxism-Leninism. Surely, there was no answer to my questions. No refunds as well. 🙂

So, Mom, let me in. Let my free spirit help you write. Let me in. I can only do this if you choose life. Any sign of resigning will stop my entry. Until you fully choose life, there is not much I can do in regards to our work.

Love,

Your son.

1:44pm

 At My Son’s Place

Don’t worry about our work; just get stronger.  Our work will finish at the right time when you are able to work straight and strong. Stop worrying and start doing what is speaking to your soul.

Don’t push. Just watch and feel. Have no fear. Have no doubts. You are my crazy and weird mom. That is plenty.  Follow your inner voice; it will take you safely to the harbor.

Navigating through the darkness of the physical world is a tremendous challenge. Without the voice of our soul—our lighthouse—we’ll be lost at sea and never find our way to the safety of our home. 

My dearest mom, clear the doubts and have the clarity of a dolphin. Fight the sharks and swim and swim and swim, knowing that dolphins always have a family in the ocean and a divine family in infinite creation.

12:19pm

Hi my dearest mommy, I am happy that you and I are speaking again. This connection with you is necessary for me. I reside in your thoughts and heart. The only thing I know is that you have a lot of questions in mind again and I, once again, need to share something with you. Before I start, I must tell you a few things.

1. It is amazing that over and over again, you put your life on the line.
2. You are not shying away from challenges. You know your capabilities, but you still need to get well and collect your strength.
3. You need to collect your strength and start to work with more focus.
4. You need to start to choose people who will add their energy to yours, join you, and be supportive of you.
5. You also need to stay away from relationships that are based on blaming others.

Since we have shown you what those relationships are, now you can recognize them really quickly.

Remember our project is about waking up souls so they can have what we have: a divine connection. The book you will publish is about establishing everlasting connections of love, trust, and truth. Now let’s focus on you. Let’s give you directions and the proper set of mind.

Things to Remember:

• You are under my protection. You are under G-d’s protection.  You have nothing to fear.
• G-d has a plan for you; the book of your life is resting on his lap. He will write a new chapter for you.
• Keep your soul plugged into the divine source of love. Keep your energy out of the realm of illusions and darkness.
• Treasure your life. Respect your work. Love yourself. Protect your soul. Keep your heart whole. Stand up. Speak up. Do not give up what is important to you.
• Do not give up on yourself. Fight for your life—the life that has been given to you by G-d. Fight for the life that has me, my brother, and my dad in it.  Fight for it, fight for it, fight for it.
• You’re not alone. We are your family in divine form and we are here for you. We are watching over you with love.
• Hold my hand. Do not let it go. Remember me. Listen to me. Speak to me. You have me. You will always have me everywhere and anytime.

1:54 p.m.

My Son’s place

Hi Mom,

Thank you for coming to visit me again. I see and know how you’re suffering and how painful all this is for you and my dad. Forgive me for this pain and all other pain you suffered on my account.

Simply know that we often do what needs to be done in the moment. G-d hears your cry and your questions. He watches you very closely. My dearest mom, please accept my answers as if they came directly from him.

G-d took me because it was my time. G-d took me because he is my father and he knows what is best. G-d took me because he loved me. G-d took me because I’m his true son and he needs me too. G-d took me because it was a part of his plan and his desire. He took me because only he can give and take. G-d took me now because only he controls time and when it is activated. He took me because it was his will.

The next question you ask is what is there for you to do now or why did he take me from you and not someone else?

1. G-d has a plan for you as well.
2. G-d loves you and is showing you mercy and love if only you are willing to see it.
3. G-d knows you and knows what is best for you and what your soul needs.
4. G-d chose you to be my mother. Now he chooses you to become closer to him and me.
5. G-d wants to hear your voice and your devotion to your children and him.
6. G-d needs to hear you speak out and be willing to follow what will be shown to you in time.
7. G-d wants to heal you and love you.
8. G-d sees you as his daughter and wants you to learn to accept his will.
9. No one can guide you or save you except him. And by being close to me now, you are closer to him more than ever.

He is your guide and your savior, no one else.  That is why he took me from you. But before that, he gave you me and gave me you. And if he wishes, that can happen again and again.

You and I will have an eternal life and with that trust, we will walk on earth as we walk in heaven. Trust this mom and we will forever be together.

I love you, my dearest and sweetest mom. Hold my hand and walk everyday with me.

Know that you did not kill me or have anything to do with my departure. It is all him and him only. Be well my mom, let G-d be with you as I am with you every second of the day.

Accept his will!

Note: These kinds of messages are making me feel extremely frustrated. Not only what is asked of me and things required of me—I’m not a perfect being. The bar is too high! 

Also, I wasn’t brought up or taught in the religious way. It is just so frustrating to hear all this. This is so not me. It’s one thing to be intuitive, psychic, and/or something along those lines. To see visions or dreams. But it’s another thing to become a priest-like woman.

I don’t relate to the clergy, to religions at all. I wasn’t molded, educated, or wired that way. I just terribly miss my son. In the physical and human way. I miss seeing his eyes, his smile, playing with him, cooking for him and more . . . much more. I just miss him! Therefore, my greatest fear, as a simple mom, is that I won’t be able to fulfill what is asked of me or do something wrong and then would never see my son again. 

1:37pm

Note : I got terrible ill  from 12-05-09 till 12-18-09.

Hi my dearest mommy,

I’m glad that you are feeling a little better. What a ride. What a week of pain, sorrow, and awakening. I’m very sorry you had to go through all this.

On the other hand, it was a must. We have to clean out all the extras in your mind and soul. I hope that you see now how nothing is stopping you from working. 

You and me. Mother and son. What a beautiful and strong team!  I’m sure with your loyalty and dedication, we will be able to overcome everything.

Mom, you’re right. There is no recovery. There is nothing in particular in getting back to status quo. It is gone, far in the past. It is not even the rebirth.

There is no process that starts with “re” that attaches us to the past pattern.  No one can recover or be reborn after this kind of experience.  There is no reconnection to what we were before.

The only option available is to shift, transform, and be awaken to a new reality or else we enter the sleep stage and become frozen in time. Pain either melts everything away, shifts us to something that did not exist before, or flash freezes us and then at some point, we break into pieces.

In the first option, we will become more flexible than ever and constantly move in a transformational shift till we become fully embodied as mothers of angels. If not, we will become motionless in past reality, frozen in time like a reflection, unable to integrate whom we are now.

We will become enslaved and captured by the energetic fields of the archetype of a grieving mother.

Therefore mom, recovery is not possible. It is a myth that can never be achieved. No one can recover after their child departs, but they can shift into something not yet in existence.

The metamorphosis process takes time and courage and most of all, trust. It takes trust since we are waking into something that did not exist before.

The process is fully engaged in the mystery of Divine alchemy. There in the laboratory of Divine love, the alchemic process of metamorphosis is borne.

That is where the divine love of the now divine child and mother’s love are combined under careful supervision by the master himself. And if we get involved in this process and the end unfolds trust, then, we can become something beautiful and amazing that was not there before.

Each of us in time will become a designated wounded healer on earth guided by the divine wisdom of our children. If that is not a good enough reason for living and walking forward, then I don’t know what else is. What else can be more important than providing divine service by teaming up with children?

So, as you see mom, Divine Providence is supervising this process very closely. Those who will allow Divine love to enter will heal others and be healed too.

They will not fully recover but their soul will bear more merits and will increase in size, energetically speaking. And their heart will be wiser to comprehend love, harmony, and compassion.

That is what I want for you so you can pass it onto others. With that, please remember and know:

• You’re never alone, every step of the way.
• Keep holding my hand.
• As always, I love you my dearest mom.
• Take a few more days off and then we will work more.