12:59pm

Hi, my dearest mommy. I know you feel overwhelmed by the amount of information, but you should not worry. Just focus on the task and it will settle down.

Suggestions:

• You must focus without distraction.
• You must work in solitude and trust the plan.
• You must move your body with every opportunity.
• Sorry if I come on strong and harsh, but you really need to focus.
• Work more and choose more wisely on how to spend your energy.
• Take my hand and walk with me. The rest doesn’t matter.
• Polish and care for what is important. We are important. Our work together is important.

7:01 p.m.

Finally, Mom, where have you been? I wanted to talk to you all day. I need to share something with you in order to get it off my chest.

1. Yes, yes, and yes. We feel fear only when we are not in our truth. You, mom, was absolutely right when you told me, “Truth is not a matter of convenience.” And then you added, “It is a way (doorway) to our true path.

When we are in our truth, then fear does not exist since the soul knows what is right. When we are in our truth, we are more calm and confident. Yes, it is my shift from moment to moment (clarify), but as long as we’re listening and focusing on it, it will call us.

One thing that truth does not do is hide. Though we may not be able to see it or recognize it right away, it is not because truth is hiding. It does not hide.

2. Yes, yes, and yes, your moral and physical state does not represent the existence of your love or lack of love.

Therefore, in order to carry on with the task and work, you must be in the best shape possible. And yes, you have to learn how to fight for your life. And this time, it’s all about focus. 

3. The heavens want you to know that you’re in the right truck. You will never worry about what will happen next since you will be guided step by step. However, heaven asks that you concentrate on your work ahead and not participate in social activities for they take too much of your time and energy.

Heaven asks you now to limit all that you can. I’m asking you the same. We need to work alone at this moment and move freely. Do not look around and turn your eyes away from the target, which is the completion of this manuscript.

Everything else is destruction. The energy that you are feeling at this moment needs to be focused on work only. 

4. During the work, you shall not worry. Only listen to the guidance. 

5. Mom, please understand that this is pivotal work, so please focus.

Note: When something dramatic happens, we become vulnerable and unprotected. The familiarity of life we lived is gone. Everything is up in the air. But the world around us keeps rolling as if nothing happened without ever being adjusted and without understanding what is happening with us.

Therefore, everything, even the smallest minutia, can push us over the edge. We change forever. The world is not. Yet we still have to be able to navigate what is being thrown into our faces.

I had to become the water within a vessel. Meaning that every body of water, be that ocean, sea, or lake, is shaped by its borders. Water needs to have a container or it will overflow without any directions, bringing only mess and/or destructions around. We need a container, to be maintained and have a shape.

This work became my container. Within its borders, as long I was within its borders—I felt safe and, most important, very close to my son.

2pm

At my Son’s place

Hi my dearest mom, thank for coming to visit me again. I love you very much so. I need you to remember that we are together. As you walk home, I am walking next to you too.

I wish I could say more to diminish your pain and grief.  I wish I could take it all away and make it as it was before, but I can’t. We can’t have what we had. We can only have what we have now.

Creating after depends on your ability to listen, fight for your life, and trust with zero degree of deviation.

Just remember that G-d has a plan for you.

You need to accept it and trust it.

I know this is a huge shift for you. I know what I’m asking you to do is anything but easy. I know your life was and is anything but easy.

However, look what you have been able to accomplish spiritually. That makes me very proud of you. I love you.

Your son.

8:50 p.m.

Note: During the funeral, I collapsed. In the months and years to come, it felt to me as if I was left there forever. I thought that I would never rise from the ground again. How could I?

However, my son was repeatedly saying to me that I must rise up. That it was my duty to life to rise up from the ground. He also said that the only way for me to get up from the ground is to rise as a mother of an angel.

He was saying to me that if I would not rise from the ground as a mother of an angel, then it would be almost too impossible for me to keep walking and to live my life. I knew that it was true in my case.

Hello, my dearest mommy, thank you for coming to visit me today. I’m always happy to see you when you visit me at my home on earth. Yes, I know that is excruciating painful for you to hear, but what are you going to do? This our fate.

Now, Mom, let me tell you about the concept of the Mother of An Angel. Remember what I told you about rising from the ground to become a mother of an angel?  Here it is. 

The only way to rise from the ground as a mother of an angel is if the mind holds onto one assumption: there is a heaven where your child resides.

If there is no trust in G-d, there are no angels or mothers of angels.

However, if someone trusts that there is another realm, and that realm exists and children have shifted there, then the connection between the parent and child is still exists.

Then the possibility of a future relationship (though a different relationship) is still there. Then there is an opportunity for a mother on a grave to rise as a mother of an angel with the duty, mission, and passion to complete the task and return home to the children where they are waiting. Every mother wants their children to see her in grace and dignity.

It’s important for every mother to understand that when her child is born and the soul enters the body, the make up of the future is changed forever. When the soul leaves the child’s body, the same thing happens again.

The future is changed again once more. Nothing else has such impact as the birth and death of a child. This conversation would never have happened if I were still the same.

My shift changed you forever as well. Now, you can change others, but only from the position of a mother of an angel, meaning you are fully aware of G-d presence with Zero Degree of Deviation. You will have no worries since your angel will guard you, guide you, love you, and hear you.

I also promise to shape you with the conduct of ethics of a mother of an angel. (Note: See the following post.) 

12:19pm

Hi mom, you have doubts again about who is speaking to you, but does it really matter? The truth is that even if this is your psych, well I’m a part of that too. You cannot imagine the level of connection we have.

You and I are one soul. Regardless of what you or I say, it is the same. In the end, mom, it comes from the same source.

The point is that your soul and my soul are from the same root tree. That is why you can hear me so well in addition to your G-d given gift. The essence here is just that.

So mom, stop all your questions, they are not helping. They are just sabotaging the flow of information.

Look, mom, I know that you are human. I know how hard my departure is on you. Yet you must shift your vision and perception of me.

I’m not a human child anymore. Though I am an energy and force now, I am still your son.  I’m still with you and I’m not going anywhere.

I just want us to establish a different relationship. I don’t want to be a dead son because I am not that. I am more alive than ever.

True , that I am not in a physical form anymore, but nevertheless I’m here. Why won’t you accept me for what I’ve become.

Why can’t you be happy for me? Why can’t you join me in what is? Why are you crippled?

10:00am 

At My Son Place

Hi mommy, thank you for visiting me. I’m okay, mom. I’m okay. I’m home mom. You know as they say, there is no place like home.

You, my dearest mom, are on your way home too. I will not lecture you today. I know that you are sad, but I can tell you this: mom, you are doing well.  Even if you think you’re not, you are. I will help you get in shape and get healthy.

So when you come home, you will be glowing. Everybody will be asking who you are, and I will tell him or her that you are my mom. I will hug you in front of everyone and show you off. I will show how proud I am of you, my crazy and weird mom.

So don’t worry mom, I will help you cook and I will help you to swim. I will help you get in shape. I will help you get well. I will be next to you.

I will always be a part of your life, actions, and thoughts. Hold my hand, mom, and we will be able to walk over every mountain and swim across every ocean. You and me, mom, forever and ever.

Please do not worry, mom.

I love you.

6:52 p.m.

Note: I had a vision with my son in it, which I had not recorded at the time. Therefore, I don’t have an exact time and date. However, the conversation we had on this day (read below after my note) directly correlated to the vision.

In my vision, my son said to me:

“Mom, do you remember when my brother and I would go away, on a trip or something? Then, when we came back home, we would look hungry, tired, and sometimes messy? Do you remember that?

You always would meet us with a smile. Then you would feed us with our favorite dishes that were freshly cooked. You would help to clean us up as well and organize our things. Then we will go to sleep in our clean and soft beds. Every time, after every journey that we took, you took care of us. Remember?

Well, Mom . . . you are on a journey too. Everyone is in fact on a journey. The truth is that Earth is not our home. It is our home away from home. And when our journey is over, we return to our true home. That is where I am right now. I am at home.

That is where you will be going too. That is where everyone will go. Though we cannot control when our journey ends, what we can control is how and in what condition we are in when we go home.

We can enter home either as a shining star, happy, healthy, and neatly dressed or as someone who is terribly hungry, messy, not feeling well, and needs a bath right away.

This is what I want you to be aware of and choose how you are going home by considering every action, word, and response. Choose how you are going home!”

This vision gave me the clarity and something to hold on to. I started to think something along this line: “I’m going home.” Of course, if I’m going home, I do not want to embarrass my son.

One of the reasons I was still able to keep my head above the water, regardless of what was happening with my health and other facets of my life, was this vision. Why? I did not want to embarrass my son.

I did not want to embarrass my son by the way I looked upon my entry. In the end, I was his forever mom. I had to look presentable. I did not want to be pitied. I did not want anyone feeling “sorry” for me too. Therefore, I knew that I must. I must! 

Hi Mommy,

Hi my dearest. Finally we are talking again. Please listen to me, I really need you to listen to me.

Please do not worry. I really need you to remember that G-d has a plan for you. There is no way you can run or hide from that plan. It’s impossible.

On your way home, you will have to face what G-d has planned for you. You must. There is no other way. Just please know that whatever it is, you will be able to deal with it.

Just walk one day at a time and think something like this: Today I am sitting in my beautiful house which I made for myself; today I will try to go for a swim; today I will be able to buy food and eat; today, right now, I am talking to my son; today I am fine, well, and comfortable. That is all. That is the plan for today.

You see, Mom, your worrying is not contributing to the wellness of your soul.

Do you want to come home shining, well and sound? Then worrying has no room in your life.

Just trust and accept. That is all. Remember this and trust and accept.

Trust the plan. Accept the plan. Trust that you can and will deal with it. Accept the weather in which you live. Accept the climate of the plan. Trust that according to plan, you will be provided. Trust this is the best plan for you.

You must build your confidence in Divine Providence. You must build confidence in you. You must build confidence in the plan. You, Divine Providence, and the Plan is what is important.

I’m next to you on every step. I will bring you home, mom. I will guide you home, mom. I’m traveling with you. You are not alone.

You never were and never will be. You’re loved so dearly. The Universe loves you dearly. Please know that you’re loved very much.

So my dearest weird and crazy mom, try to go for a swim. I love you. Thank you for listening.

—Your son.