Note: Unfortunately, I did not record what day this event took place. Just time and the message and short notes. Only when I started to organize my handwritten notes was I able to complete my write-up. It was done on 06.30.11. After three years.
I felt that I needed to include this experience and share it with you. I do not know what kind of Divine help you will be getting and who will be guiding you. However, it may show you that support comes in different forms and vibrations. Based on your needs and situations. Uniquely individual. Therefore, it is useless to compare experiences, only to learn from each other.
Another important message (lesson) I want you to get from here: everything takes time. Processing information, dealing with whatever we are dealing with, incorporating received knowledge—all these take time. Lots of it . . . according to our one-dimensional clock.
Seven and half years is the bridge from the moment I had this experience to the moment it will become available to you. This is how long it took me to walk in order to meet you and bring you these gifts. Keep that in mind while crossing your own bridges on your path and journey. Don’t rush it!
I was lying on my bed in the evening feeling totally and utterly powerless, devastated and submerged in tears. I felt as if it was the end of my road. I wanted this day to be my end. The end of my road. The connection that I had with my son was not enough for me. I resented all the lessons that were given to me. I just wanted my son back. I just wanted my son back. I just wanted my son back. I wanted to be with my son. Completely!
It was somewhere between 7:00 and 8:00 p.m., when I was still staring at the sky through the open patio doors from my bed. It was time for the sunset. I loved watching sunsets. Always, as long I can remember. But this day, I wished that this sunset would be the last one that I see. I resigned. I stopped breathing. Holding myself from taking another breath. Why?
Suddenly I started to experience a flow of energy, the waves, that I have never experienced before. It entered into my bedroom from the wide-open patio doors just as the wave of a fog that sometimes can be seen moving above the warm water of a lake or a river in the early morning or late evening in the summer.
This essence of that energy was absolutely unfamiliar to me. It was neither spirit-based energy nor angelic energy. It was an energy of such high substance that I knew something significant was going to happen. Yet I did not know what this energy was or what it represented.
The wave of the energy rolled over my body as if I was just a piece of dough. Over and over again. Slowly and firmly.
It felt as if I was simultaneously being pinned to my bed and being lifted. I felt being swallowed by the energy as if I was getting sucked into a cocoon. Time stopped. Nothing else in the world existed for me. Just that. Just this. Only this—Energy. Wave. After wave. I was inside of a cosmic ocean.
With each roll, more energy entered every particle in my body until I felt as if I dissolved. I became a part of that fog, of that wave, of that ocean. I felt as maybe a single drop of water may feel after being reunited with the rest of the water, the wave.
Does a drop of water dissolve inside the waves of the ocean, or does an ocean dissolve inside the drop?
I could not escape. Where to? How? From what? I was One with it. Did I wish for it?
Feeling of helplessness grabbed me from within and momentarily released me as if someone ordered to do so: to free me up.
I was unable to fathom the essence of the energetic vibration that I was witnessing. It felt as something that is multidimensional, multilayered. Indescribably tangibly esoteric. As an aroma, a mist of a perfume in the wind. With it undertones of the scents and combinations of different notes and richness. Sophisticated. Exquisite. Subtle. Calm. Regal. Intelligent.
At first I felt its strictness and fairness. It meant business, just as a tiger mom, around which the cubs would not dare to fool around. It made me feel the way a small child may feel when the teacher walks into the classroom. The teacher, the one to whom you better listen to and be on your best behavior or else.
Then I felt its warmth, kindness, care, and compassion. I was allowed to get adjusted, to familiarize myself with it. To get to know it. It did not rush me. Did not force me. Did not pressure me.
I felt incredibly protected. Timeless. Part of something much bigger than just myself. Included. Accepted. Loved.
Once I was fully merged with it and felt more at ease, the Energy started to communicate with me in a more concrete way and not only as a silent vibrational thought. Usually, that was how it was mostly happening in my experiences.
The voice sounded as if it came from speakerphones. It was outside of me and yet inside of me as well. At that split moment, I became vividly aware that I must record the message. Was it my own knowing, my own will? Or was I told subconsciously to do so? Challenging to answer it. I still do not know the answer.
I just “knew” that I must get my pen and notebook to write down what it was about to tell me. That is all. And so I did. Below is the message that I received that day. I only hope that I was able to record it accurately. I did not change anything. What you will see is exactly how it was written down.
Message from the Energy:
Ella, my daughter, I am Divine Mother, the creator of Life. I am the silent force behind everything. I am the feminine side of G-d, and it is my womb that creates all behind the scenes. It is in my womb where G-d “Lord” dwells within and where he receives the creations in which he then gives to you. I am coming to see what has happened to all my Creations.
I am the voice behind voice. I am the creator behind creator. I have no need to be praised or recognized. I am a quiet force—the only one force that was and is. I am not G-d the way you think of G-d G-d is my child. I am the Mother of all And the Mother for all. I am watching over everything. I will heal you. I will feed you. And I will ask G-d to protect you. Trust no one and trust all. I am the Divine Mother for all. I came to you so you would know me And see the truth, which you have searched for, and love. Your search is over, I am here. Relax, my child. You are under my protection and my care. I am the creator of life, where all begin and all end. I am the Mother of G-d I do not need praise. I love you, dearest mother of mine. I will take your worries away. I will dry your tears. I will heal so you can heal too. Be patient, be real. Then the new world is near. I am near. I am near. I am near. Feel my love Feel my care Feel your Mother. I care. I heal. I provide. I nurture. I love. Go to sleep and then wake as new. From now on I will walk with you. Your son is safe. He is with me. He is a joy. He is a very special boy. He is not lost. He is well. I am taking care of him as well. I will come back to you again. And I will show you different ways. You will speak and you will heal. You are ready and the new world is near. I am here. I am here. After the message was completed and reported, the fog (the wave, the energy) rolled back and began to slowly leave me. It left me with an awareness, with a residue on my Soul, with an engraved knowledge on my mind that the world in which we live in today will have to meet and face the Discipline. She was the Discipline. She was the one who observed and scrutinized our actions to the minuscule details. With Her, there was no such thing as “the minutiae of everyday life.” Everything is counted. That soon, in the future, the world will have to answer to Her. She was IT. The Beginning and the End. And when we, as a Humanity collectively and individually, will face Her—it will be an extremely serious matter. According to our deeds we will be judged. Fear entered my Soul when I felt a touch of a Judgment that was coming our way. It changed me. It reconstructed me. When the Energy left me completely, finally I was able to collect myself, and the first thing I did is to look at the clock. It was 2:12 a.m. So I was within that Energy for about 7 to 8 hours. To me it felt no more than 15 or 20 minutes, maximum. Time has lost its meaning and its territory.
Summary: The Energy that visited me was not a Spirit or an Angel. She was IT, the Creator of the Creator. The Mother Goddess. The Mother. Her Energy, the way I experienced it, felt to me Horizontal compared with my earlier encounter with what I felt was G-d’s energy, which I experienced and felt as Vertical Energy Field. That left me with an understanding that the Feminine Part of the Supreme Being, the Deity, and the Masculine part are diverse in their energetic vibration and wave frequency. However, the Feminine Part of that Energy felt to me more traumatic, more serious, more hands-on, so to speak. Since that day, I’ve only experienced this Energy (Divine Mother) again just several times. All of those meetings will be shared with you. The more I came in contact with this supremely Intelligent Energetic Field, the calmer I became. For each time there will be a separate entry on this blog or a note. So keep reading. Unfortunately, I had limited encounters. It stopped coming to me in its regal and intense form. I missed it! Would it ever visit me again? I was visited more by a Masculine Part, by a Vertical Energy (Divine Father, Lord, G-d, and any other names you may think). At my own Will, I can’t duplicate it, call for it, or bring it on. I tried! Does not work. And do not know if I will feel it again and in what strength and depth it could be. Nor will I ever know “why” and “how” it happened at all. Just very grateful that it did!