Mom, you have to understand you must start organizing your life. You must make decisions on what is important to you. What is really meaningful to you?
What do you want to do everyday and to the end of your days. You have to remember that you still have this life regardless of how difficult everything is.
You need to start to build sooner or later. And you need to decide what to do with your life.
But not today.
Today, just stay where you are. Today, just be true to who you are.
Today just deal with what is in front of you. And trust, trust, trust that you are sitting right in the middle of the palm of G-d as he carries and takes care of you.
And whatever he does, he does out of compassion. Hold to the steel of your soul. Keep your balance.
Let the pieces fall as they should. Just remember you are inside of a tornado. Keep Zero Degree of Deviation. Don’t let illusions, fears, and doubts get a hold of you. Keep breathing.
Keep talking to me. I love you very much.
My dearest, dearest mom. I want to help you so much. I want to hug you. Only now I can see how you are suffering and struggling.
Only now I see how much pain you hold inside your soul. Mom, you have to learn how to see that whatever happens is right.
Every movement of every leaf is right. You need to learn how not to allow what is happening and how people are acting affect you.
I know this is very difficult, but it is part of the process. Negativity cannot take hold of you. You cannot react on everything and everyone.
Your happiness, strength, and balance must come from inside, only from you and Divine Providence. People are people. Events are events. It cannot feed out of your energy. You must stop this cycle of being a victim.
It must stop now or you will not be able to walk your path. This is a dead end for you. Think about how you can shift this for once and for all.
No running away mom, it will not help. Stay here, and shift. This must be done.
There is no way out from all this.