Truth Is Not a Matter of Convenience

10:34 a.m.

Note: Somehow a baby bird flew into my room. I tried to catch it; I didn’t want it to hurt itself. My son responded to this incident.
Hi, my dearest mom, I had hoped that the baby bird would improve your mood a little bit today. But even for the bird, you were stressed and nervous. You still care about everything.

I can only hope that you will learn, study, and accept Zero Degree of Deviation and make that knowledge your main philosophy of life. The philosophy of Zero Degrees of Deviation is the beginning and the end of thinking on Earth that will shift collective consciousness.

You see how difficult that is. It must be practiced. Knowing about it doesn’t help. Do you remember what you use to tell your students?  : “It doesn’t matter what you know. What matters is what you practice everyday, what you do everyday with it. Knowing has no power. Knowing plus action based on the knowing is the power. If you do not practice it, it’s not worth anything.”  That is very true, Mom.

I know that healing takes time, but you must take that direction. Without practicing Zero Degree of Deviation, you will not be able to walk. You will not be able to heal.

You have to walk your Truth. You have to practice your Truth. You have to Trust your Truth!

IMG_0849You will fall into the paranoia, fear, and anxiety, which are illusions.  If you do not practice the truth, you will fall unto the path of illusions. They are creating a hight density space and are slowing down the waves of the higher vibration. The waves of the healing.

Do you remember what you once said to me, Mom? You said, “Truth is not a matter of convenience. It is one’s path, one’s true journey.” That is true, but you have to walk your truth, Mom.

You need to change your path, but not everything—only what is needed. You have to be able to see the illusion and bring the truth—the ultimate reality—forward.  I command you to do that for the following three reasons:

  • For your own sake and your own wellbeing
  • For us to be together
  • For your work

I need to see that trust and determination you once had 18 years ago.

Note: He was referring to the time when we wanted to have another child, but the doctor who was taking care of me at that time told me that I could not have children anymore. Something in the way it was said to me triggered an unexpected reaction in me. 

I had a very strong feeling that the doctor was not telling the truth. A person who is so indifferent to other people’s feelings is rarely correct. So I got very passionate and told the doctor that he was not G-d and did not have the last word on the matter. Then I turned around, smashed the door, and left his office never to come back again.

Directly from the doctor’s office, my husband and I went to the store that had a section with newborn essentials. I remember standing there and looking at outfits for boys and girls. They were all hanging on the same rack. I was touching one piece after another till I came across a one-piece coverall. It had head-to-toe shapes, was made of soft fabric, and looked like a sports referee uniform. Adorable!

The minute I saw it, I knew. It was “it.” At that moment I knew that we are going to have a boy. When we came back home, I went right into my closet and hung it between my clothes. Every morning and every evening, I would touch and kiss and talk to this coverall and say “good morning” and “good night.”

I felt as if I was touching my future son and not just a piece of cute clothing. It did not matter to me that he was not born yet or that I was not pregnant. In my soul and in my heart, I could feel his warmth, his energy, his essence.

Nothing and nobody could convince me otherwise. I was whispering to him that we are waiting for him and that we will wait as long as he needs us and that when he is ready to meet us, we would love him with all our hearts. I was talking to him, to my unborn son, to his soul daily. I knew that he could hear me. I could hear him too. I could touch him. I never questioned the reality of my experience. Why? I knew the Truth. 

The logical and physical reality had no impact on me. The opinion of the doctor held no meaning and any value to me. Inside my soul I knew that doctor was lying to me . . . even if he felt it was true. I did not go to see another doctor. Did not ask for a second opinion. Did not need it. I knew it was useless. Six months later, I got pregnant, but that was not the end of the test.

My pregnancy became very complicated. One day, on my way to work, as I was crossing a street, I stepped onto an oil spot. I did not see it. I was focusing on the cars. I fell hard, and since it was oil and very slippery, I flew across the road as if it was covered with ice. I was taken to the emergency room. I was bleeding heavily from my knees and arms. However, they assured me that the baby is fine. Yet since that day, everything changed. Soon I was ordered to be bed rested as I was starting to have unexplainable pains. With every week, the pain was increasing in strength. Soon they became intolerable. I was sent to different specialists with no results. No help.

No one knew what to do. It was a mystery. I was dying from the pain and already had a few incidents of starting a premature delivery as a result. Luckily, we were able to stop it. Those days we became regular visitors at the emergency room.

As my pregnancy progressed, I was getting more ill. Doctors were convinced that I couldn’t go the full term and advised me to terminate the pregnancy. They were concerned with my survival. For my life. When I refused to terminate my pregnancy, I was asked to sign a form to release my doctor from responsibility in case I died. One note: during my pregnancy, I did not take any pain medications. 

It was a very challenging time for us. Yet, once again, I had that unbreakable trust in me that everything will be fine. I knew that I just have to trust and endure it. There was something inside of me telling me that we would survive together. That was my Truth. And we did. My son was born on time. But once again that was not the end of the story. Not yet.

On the day that our younger son was born, just a few hours after, my husband and our older son got into a horrible car accident on the way to the hospital. My husband was bringing our older son to meet his new brother before school.

Their car hit a light pole, and the pole fell on the car. It broke the car like an egg. My son was sitting in my seat that day, and that saved his life. His backpack got pinned into the backseat by a pole. That backseat was his usual place of sitting. When the police came, the car was so smashed they had to cut them out.

As I was recovering from the delivery of the baby and waiting for them in the hospital room . . . I did not know what to think as one hour passed after another or how to think yet. I just gave birth to a child after many months of pain and suffering and trials.

The nurse walked in, looked at me, and said, “Why are you alone in the dark room? Let’s turn the light on.” Right at that moment, I knew something happened. From my childhood, I developed a habit of thinking that if someone is extra nice to me, it means only one thing—something horrible took place. And here it was.

I was informed that my husband and my son were brought in by an ambulance to the same hospital and that they were in the emergency room, alive and under medical care. Yes. So in our family, the birthday of our younger son was celebrated not only as his birthday, but also as a birthday for our family. 

All that time I was functioning on sheer trust. From the stormy conversation with the doctor to everything else, I knew my Truth. Nothing could stop me or change anything in me. I knew the Truth! I knew the Truth . . . it was easy to Trust. I knew the Truth. With that, I could deal with anything without blinking an eye.

Now, my son, his soul was asking me if I could ever have that level of trust and determination again. I had no answer.

I still have that first jumpsuit that we purchased that day. I still have it! Now it reminds me that if I could talk with my son before he was born, before I met him, then for sure we can talk now . . . after 18 years of love and joy.

Without your Trust, we can’t be together . . .IMG_0766

You see, Mom, if “trust ” is not there, then the passage is closed or not safe. The trust, or the vibration of trust, creates the passage of which I can walk through and meet you.

If you do not have that trust, I will not be able to come, because the fog of illusions is very thick and it’s very difficult to walk through that. You must help me, Mom. I need you to trust.

Your energy is the main highway. You are like an alchemist that can bring that life forward and raise that vibration as you did before.

It’s very important for you to follow my suggestions. It’s very important for you to get well, practice what you teach, and learn and practice what I will teach you.

In order for you to walk that path, you must be fit and ready. You have to stay well!IMG_0776