Note: Once in a while, I would face hurtful comments from people who did not understand the grief, pain, and devastation that go with a shift of child. I don’t remember the exact comments, at least not all of them, but I noticed that it was affecting me more than usually. Many people were compassionate, but many were also straightforwardly mean. To some degree, it was unexpected.
For example, a longtime friend of mine called me up one day. Without asking any questions about me, he just went on his usual “complain tour.”
Then, during a long monologue, he mentioned to me that he went to the temple to pray for his friend who had just moved away. I broke my silence and asked, “May I ask you to pray for me?”
He answered, “I don’t have time for you.” Then he added, “I only pray for people whom I can see, and you are just too far away.”
My dearest, dearest mom. Why are you thinking about other people’s nonsense? You will never be able to change the world. People will be people.
That is why I need you to protect and preserve yourself from the meanness and misunderstandings of other people. They do not get you or your pain.
How can you do that? Very simple: let them be who they are and let yourself be who you are.
Not everyone has kindness in his or her heart. That is why life on earth is so hard.
If people could change their hearts, life would be much easier for all of us.
That is why G-d continues to take us back to school to learn over and over again. What else can I tell you mom?
Thank you for your love and please remember I will always be right next to you, but you must protect yourself.