10:10 a.m.
Note 1: Surviving any “family days like holidays” was and is so difficult and so challenging that I have no words to describe it. Nor can I give any suggestions how to deal with it. Every face of grieving and every situation is very personal and deeply individual. Nothing should be or can be forced!
Hi, my dearest mom, we need to talk. Mom, you must see our situation—your situation—on a larger scale. You must learn to see all of us as connected dots of a bigger picture. Only then will it make sense as to what is happening.
The minute you cut yourself off from that big picture, you will lose yourself in the fog of illusions. When you are able to shift your consciousness to the level of community consciousness, than the balance will be restored and light and clarity will come in.
You must truly see that your life is not less important than mine or anyone else. Your needs are as valuable as anyone else’s. I know that you know that, but you don’t trust it.
Knowing and trusting are different. When you trust, you can act. When you know, you stop listening. I need you to listen and I need you to trust. It means that after you listen, you must take small steps in the direction of truth and Trust will lead the way.
What was that you told me once? You told me that truth is not a matter of convenience. Then you later added that it’s a true path on one’s journey.
So the truth is, Mom, that your life counts. Your life is important. You, Mom, count.
With that in mind, you have to let me go. You have to let go everyone else too. When I say go (letting go), it means that you must release us as blockages from your own life.
What that means is that not only will you never ever stop loving me, but you will also need love your life and yourself.
What that means is that not only will you never ever stop loving me, but you will also need love your life and yourself.
Letting me go means stopping negativity and depression. Letting me go means to stop using me as a reason to not fully live your life. Letting me go means releasing my soul from being the reason for your misery and depression.
I want to be next to you, Mom, but not in that role. Mom, please let me go. It’s painful and heavy on me. I know that it will take some time. I will wait, but I must also see you take steps in that direction.
You will need to find your own life and meaning. You have done your job.
Now, do what you must do and learn to truly love your life. Learn to truly love your life. That is what I want for you.
Fight for it, fight for it, fight for it. Fight with truth. Confront your shadow and the fears that were projected onto you. Your life is not less important than mine.
Let me help you bring the love and knowledge from the Realm of Truth. In return, promise me to let me go and to release me from this role as the reason for your unfulfilled life.
I am neither the reason nor the cause. Don’t use me as a reason for pain and sorrow.
Replace your knowledge with your trust. Without trust, there is no truth.
The truth is as the Spirit of Tzfat told you: “Eternal life, Eternal light.” You’re not alone. We’re together.
I love you dearly, my mom. Forgive me if what I told you above sounded harsh. I just wanted to say the truth. My truth.
Love,
Always your son.
Note 2: It was a challenge for me to accept that my life was just as important as my son’s life. I never ever held my life as equally important or more important than my children.
The value of my life was always at a lower level of the scale. When my son told me that my life was not less important than his, that idea was incredibly difficult for me to digest.
To be frank, I still have a challenging time accepting this idea. As a mother, it’s hard for me to put the value of my life on an equal scale as my children. That line alone shook my previous assumptions.