2:24pm
Mom, this life, the life you see in pictures and the pictures you keep on your table do not exist anymore. The table that was covered with a cloth where many of us sat behind in body and spirit can now only be in spirit. That is why it feels very lonely to you. The dinner table without us creates deep pain in your heart.
The life that does not exist anymore is safely stored in the past. That is in the past and that is where it belongs—in the storage of memories. You, mom, are here in body and spirit. This is your moment. This is your time in this world of action and deeds. This is where fights are formed. You must fight for your life.
First of all, you must depart from the life that does not exist anymore. Crying and wishing will not bring it back.
You, mom, have to face what is. Hiding in pain is not going to help. You never were the kind to hide; you always fought. That is who you are.
So mom, take a deep breath and embrace your life as it is and not as you wish it to be. There is a gap between your wishes and what the Divine wishes for you.
If you stay inside your wishes, you will be frozen in the past. If your will is both here in the present and there in the past, you will be swallowed by the gap. Therefore, if you cross over to the reality of what is, you will free yourself to the future.
Although the past may be painful, we want to hold on because it’s familiar territory. The future does not have the safety net of familiarity. The future does not hold anything you know.
The future does not hold anything you know, however the future is a reminder that there is a path for you and that you are loved. It might be that everyone around you loved you. It might be that every door slammed in your face.
It might be that you were rejected and neglected time and time again by people you loved the most. You might think that your life is not worth anything. It might be that you are very sick and tired of pain–pain in your body, heart, and soul.
The future does not hold anything you know, however the future is a reminder that there is a path for you and that you are loved.
It might be that this is all true and all this exists. In the end, only Divine Providence knows the value of our lives and you must trust that your life, regardless how painful, has tremendous value.
You, mom, survived the abuse from your family and did not become angry or mean and no matter how much darkness was covering you, you remained iridescent.
So yes, mom, your life means a lot, but it would mean even more so if you moved to the future and moved forward 100% without looking back.
If you let everything rest, take whatever is given to you, and make the best of it, then the future will welcome you as you welcome it as well.
The life you had mom, does not exist anymore. The way your life existed is no more. The way we use to be does not exist anymore.
The chapter is closed. The last phrase, the last sentence, has been written. The last dot is about to be placed. Add the dot, mom. Add the dot, mom. Then take a moment and celebrate what has been written and give yourself a hug.
But then, mom, turn the page. Turn the page. Then start to write a new chapter. In this new chapter, allow me to be the ink. Allow me to be a part of the process. Allow me to flow through you. Allow me to be with you in every breath and every heartbeat. Respect your life; respect the breath.
Respect yourself. Love yourself. Remember yourself. Fight for yourself. Listen to me and do not allow anything or anyone to tell you anything different than that. I love you mom; you are very much loved. You matter and your life matters. You are wanted and sought for.
You are the best mom I ever had and the best friend I needed. I want to be with you. I am with you. Walk with me into the future and leave everyone and everything behind.
We will be talking soon and more. Just know that for today:
- You are loved.
- The life you had before does not exist anymore.
- The future is waiting for you.
- Draw a square. Here is the place where you shall put your last dot when you are ready. That is the end of that entry. The chapter is completed.
