2:30 p.m.
At My Son’s Place
Mom,
To ask the right question is similar to having the right key. It opens doors. It shifts reality and brings forward new information and awareness. Some questions strike us like lightning, leaving us wondering “how we never thought of them before.”
The question I am going to pose now is one of those lightning ones. Are you ready?
The question is, “Do you want to be with me?”
It is not “Do you want me to be with you” or “Do you want us to be together?”
Look, when we get married, we are asked, “Do you take So-and-So as your husband or wife?”
That is different from asking if we agree to be with that person. Here is the difference.
Just because someone says he/she loves you, wants you around, or enjoys your company does not mean that he/she wants to be with you. With you—for YOU!
He/She might want you to be with him/her for him/her, but not for you and with you.
To be with you for you, he/she has to work, labor, and learn about you and take into the consideration who you really are and not the fantasy as he/she thinks of. Real you and not the work of his/her mind and not the way he/she imagined you.
Therefore, to answer the question “Do you want to be with me?” requires the other person to put you ahead of him/her.
Now, Mom, let’s shift this to relationships, to Life and G-d. Let me ask you questions:
- Mom, do you want to be with G-d?
- Mom, do you want to be with Life?
Note: What I really understood here is that in order to fight for my life, I had to investigate, analyze, and meditate very deeply on the question “Do you want to be with Life?” If I could not accept how Life as is, how could I fight for it?
I also needed to answer “Do I want to be with G-d?” What does it even mean? In a real way, in a tangible way, in daily life? If I could not be with G-d, then how could I be with my son?
This conversation alone pushed me on a totally new level of awareness and thoughts. This is one of the most pivotal conversations I’ve had with my son up to now. It lasted two days and ended on 05/30/10.
Note 2:
I need to make a confession. It’s burning on my mind and heavy on my heart. The thing is that right after his shift, my son told me that one of the reasons I will need to write this book is that we as humanity are about to go through very challenging times.
Times when many children, innocent children, young children, under the age of 21, will be taken from us by different means. By means of catastrophic events, weather conditions such as storms and floods, etc. (natural causes).
Also, by man’s created events, such as suicide bombings, mass shootings, and other unspeakable and evil acts. The acts that would not be prevented as they will be very sudden and unexpected. The children will be leaving in groups and alone. They will be shifting, leaving many broken families and hearts behind so later they may help them to do the work.
It’s one thing to be aware of financial crises and another to know that 2008 to 2012 will be a very challenging time with lots of shifts and even more so from 2012 till 2016, more intense and more challenging all around the globe. And that everything is leading us to 2017, when something major is going to happen, and it will be a turning point for humanity at large.
But to know the price and who is paying that price is at times unbearable . . . knowing about future events with children is burning my mind.
As I am working on this project, I am thinking of their families, their future broken lives. And that today they have no idea what is in store for them.
And when events will come upon us, just as happened in Japan with so many children being washed away . . . would they believe what I will say to them? Would they be able to wake up in the morning only for one reason—to allow Divine Providence to heal their shattered and broken hearts?
Would they trust me with the message that they have a job to do here and that they must establish communication with their children? Would they trust the message that on the soul level their children choose to leave so they can heal the collective soul of humanity? Would they trust that?
Because if they would not, then the shift of their children will lose its meaning to some degree. So on one hand mothers, parents, must be nurtured and helped, but on another hand they have a job to do. They were picked for that work. And how would you tell them about it?
I have no idea how I would react if I would be told this by some stranger. Only because it’s coming from my son I am more open. But even then, it’s so difficult to swallow. I choke up on it regularly.
All this is a very heavy information, and the sad thing is that in my heart, I know it’s all true. I know!
And I know that we will witness the “death” of many innocent children. I know that. And living every day with the thought that more and more children will shift is an unbearable information for me.
I just want to scream, “Stop . . . leave our children alone . . . stop!”
But I know that it will not help, because the reason for it is not in the Divine cruelty but is in the human heart and our ways. That is the sober and bitter truth.
I used to look at children and then imagine how they are going to look as an adult and what they would do and be when they would grow up. I would think about their future and about what can be done so their life and future would be brighter and softer than what we had. I thought the same about my children too.
Now, I noticed, when I look at a child’s face, I am trying to catch their eyes and see if they are the future angels. Now, I am fully aware that this child or that child may sacrifice their future, just as my son did . . . so we as humanity will have ours. Now, I am trying to look away when I see a child. I do not want to know!
Now I am fully aware that many of our children do not have a future, but only now. And that is a very sour piece to swallow. I weep and weep and weep. Children, innocent souls, the best of us . . . without a future . . . Can it be another way? Should I keep quiet about it? Should I speak up? Besides this work, what else can I do?
May G-d have mercy on our souls. May all our children have long and healthy lives with a bright future.