Be With Me

11am

My Son’s Place

Hi my dearest mommy,

Thank you for coming to visit me again. Anyway, I missed you very much so.  It’s very painful for me to see your pain.

However, I feel much better now. My soul does not have pain anymore.  I’m not in pain. I simply love you very much and am able to observe how everything is still painful to you.

Remember your vision when you were reading what other people were writing? Do you remember how you stayed in the darkness and could not see anything? Then your eyes adjusted and you began to move forward. You could hear the moaning, groaning, and other noises being released from the suffering souls. Then you saw the shape of souls that were lying on rocks in agony and pain. For you, it was really painful to see their suffering and pain. And while you stood there looking at them, the only thought that entered your mind was “How can I help them?”

Well now you know what I see and how I feel. This is not my pain anymore; it is my pain for you. I’m not sure yet on what kind of candle can light the darkness and shift the pain. I only pray to G-d and ask him to bring healing to you guys.

I know that when given the chance to help others, you do so as a guide, not as a G-d. Now its my turn, and I promise you that I will not rest until you are with me and joyful. I love you so much, mom. I miss you so much.

Please, mom, please stop torturing yourself with the doubts and questions about what else you could have done for me or what you did or did not do for me. You gave me the most important thing.  You gave me the feeling that I was very much loved and deeply needed. 

The rest is not that important. You gave me feeling of love and kindness. You gave me 100% of you. You were honest with me.  I understand that if you could have done better, you would have done so.  You did what you knew and could then. What else can be asked of you?

Mom, how can I show you my love for you? How can I make you feel loved? How can I give back to you? Mom, please don’t think about others’ behaviors. Forget about them.

Be with me. Hold my hand.  In my company, you are safe and loved. Be with me mom, I need you more than ever. We have so much to do. Spend more time with me listening. Okay, mom? I love you. I am with you. Be with me.