Endure the Burning

1:09 p.m.

Finally, Mom. You need to talk to me every day.  That must be your focus and priority. 

I know your students are important to you and you want to do a good job, but I feel you are giving them too much time and not enough to me. I am your son; I am your family. Make our conversation and me a priority. 

Now after chewing on you for a bit, let me tell you something, Mom.

  1. I love you.
  2. G-d has a plan for you.
  3. You’re not alone, and you have many of us watching over you.
  4. This is your time to fight for your life and what you stand for.

I understand you have a beef with G-d. That is okay, Mom. I would have that too if I was in your situation.  And yet, Mom, that does not mean that he does not love you.

What is that saying again? “What gives light must endure the burning” (Wildgans).

So mom, you were always a light.  That is why you suffered so tremendously. You will burn and suffer more regardless if you trust me and if you see or feel it yet. With time, you will be able to understand that more. 

What gives light must endure the burning.

In order for us to be together, your soul must grow and expand. Then, once again, we will be together as always.

I love you and want to help you in every way possible.  For that to happen, you must talk and listen to me everyday.

Note: That is why I came to believe that mothers who are chosen to be physically separated from their children are chosen for certain tasks or work to do. Of course it was very difficult to hear this.

I didn’t want to be chosen. Repeat: I didn’t want to be chosen.

I would give everything to not be in this position. Once again: Hearing all this was extremely difficult. Almost too impossible to swallow. 

I began to understand on a very deep level that everything in life is rented to us . . . As never before.

I began to ask if there was anything that was mine that can’t be touched. “What truly belongs to me on this Earth that I can hold to?” I asked again and again. 

I thought my skills, such as cooking and others, were mine. However, if I would have to develop arthritis or Alzheimer’s, then they too would get lost. The memory may disappear in the moment as well. So what is it?

The magnified glass now was placed over my life . . .