11:00 a.m.
At My Son’s Place
Mommy, my dearest mommy, what is going on again? How can I help you? Please understand that there is nothing we can change about what happened.
My father in heaven called me up for work. He needed me there with him. He still needs you here. Your moment will come and we will be together again.
Even now, we are together. You know this. You wrote it yourself on my gravestone: “With every heartbeat, we are together.”
I cannot lift your soul. That is not my area. But G-d and you can. This can only happen if you accept G-d’s will.
Mom, there is a will of G-d. There are his properties and areas. There is meaning to our lives as given by our master. Yes, your life belongs to you, but it also belongs to him. You belong to him.
And you cannot stand in his way. You cannot rule the world and decide who lives and who moves away. That is not your decision.
I know it seems complex, but it is actually quite simple. He is your father and you are his child. Ultimately, he is in control. He gives and he takes. He creates and destroys. He is the one and the only one who rules the world we see and the world we don’t see.
He is my master and he is yours. So why waste your time crying over something that cannot be changed, altered, or replaced by another situation?
Don’t cry over me, Mom. Don’t weep over dreams we had for me. They were beautiful and amazing, but they were not his dreams or his will.
You know that earth is not an easy place, thus there is a need for angels like me. And there is a need for someone like you here. And you will be guided when the time comes. Now is not the time. Now is the time for you to heal and to really get well and know the following:
- I’m here with you, Mom.
- I belong to you, more than ever.
- I’m your boy, son, and loyal guide, and I’m not going anywhere anymore.
- I am home mom. I am home, and I will be waiting for you when I’m traveling.
- I am waiting for you, but please do not rush yet. I will walk as you walk. I follow you everywhere you go.
- I see and hear everything. Nothing is lost, mom. We are not lost.
Please do not lose yourself in darkness and pain.
Keep working. As you walk, I walk. Trust me, Mom. I need you to trust me. Give me your hand and let me guide you.
Let me bring you home safe and sound. Let me deliver you, Mom. Let me be your savior, teacher, and guide. Trust me, Mom; listen to me, Mom.
Let me open a door for you. Let me greet you and hug you. Stay with me, Mom; I will come for you.
Surrender your will to G-d’s will. Surrender your wish to G-d’s wish. Surrender your life to G-d’s care. Then listen and trust me.
Let me take care of you my dearest mom. I will take you home with me, the home G-d created for us. But first comes first.
- Accept G-d’s will. Accept your part and your destiny. Till then, you cannot walk. Till then, nothing can happen.
- Do you remember Zero Degree of Deviation? Don’t deviate mom, not even for a moment.
Mom, I love you so much.
- Accept your path.
- Respect your life.
- Give me your hand.
- Trust me and I will take you home with me.
- You are going home. We are going home.
But you must finish something first. You must complete your path.
We are going home in dignity, respect, love, and harmony, together forever and ever. Mother and son. I love you, Mom, and I’m not going anywhere without you.
Take my hand
And trust me
Trust G-d
We are going home.
Walk, mom, walk, mom, walk, mom
I’m walking with you
Face your fate
With dignity, respect, and a smile
Open heart for winds of change
You are going home, just wait.
Stop your worrying.
Just remember you need to be patient and wait
Hold my hand and trust.
Hold my hand and listen.
Hold my hand and don’t be afraid.
Hold my hand and I will help you.
Hold my hand and I will teach you.
Hold my hand dearest mom,
We are together on this journey.
Hold my hand, I love you.
Note: It was very difficult for me to hear that I was behaving as if I’m ruling the world. In our normal lives, we don’t think in these terms. It’s difficult to say that it’s G-d’s will that my son had to shift.
Though I know and understand that in the logical terms, I could not stop crying. With every approaching holiday or birthday, it hits me. Knowing the reasons behind his departure did not help. Does not help!
It’s hard to apply a practical spiritual knowledge to our daily lives. Regardless how true, correct, or helpful it may be. It may be easy to read about it. It may be not that complicated to preach about it. It may be “OK” to lecture about it. However, to walk the talk, to be the one who has to practice it, is an incredibly challenging task.
Yet I’m still absolutely amazed by how the trivial phrases, such as “G-d has a plan for you,” turned into shattering knowledge when it was spoken by my son at the Dead Sea. How blind are we?